Temporarly Paused

Reboot. My system is slow, more ram, more rest, less power to gain more power. There is a time and place when you reflect and know, more than you should, not enough right now, but in time it all settles like dirt in your glass.

28 years and what is there yet to know, so much, so little. Observations of bent bodies and crooked spines. Beauty in what is unseen, but smelt.

This is a wonderful & magical place at times. I might shatter, that's my reality here. It's a dry and brittle climate, but I have my knowledge and education to carry me on this wind.

House hunting again and again. Moving to be within. Nesting again and again.

If I could just steal one tomorrow, I might rest.

Souls of the Past

CALLING ALL SOULS!!! The souls of my past. I'm reaching out to the forgotten few and the many along the way that were there on many unique and solid days. I'm asking and reaching out, to those who have mostly known me better than myself, pull up close with me, enjoy a glass of wine or tea. I'm singling you out. Let's have a memory or two for an appetizer and slip into the main course with some meaty news of the now. Write me something soft, maybe a poem, song, or word. I would welcome your company with open arms and extend my things to you, as you wish. Take or give, just plop down here and tell me a tale or two. It's been a long journey and while we're here let's make the best of it.

Sincerely,

Maladjusted Poet & Midwest Ashed on the floor.

New Work

Lent Success

I used to sit down with some pastels, markers, spray paint, or whatever else lent it’s self to me for the moment, and express these emotions onto a sheet of paper. My life has become so electronic since I left school that I hardly make the appropriate time to sit down with my thoughts and create.

Whatever world has presented it’s self to me is not welcome right now. I’m tired, working too hard, and exhausted at the thought of it. Keeping things simple usually seems to keep people out of trouble. It’s when you start to go in a different direction or push yourself out of your comfort zone that true colors of self come out. I don’t need that mirror now; it will just stand in the way.

Keeping an eye on the prize is difficult enough without almost loosing focus on the other important things. I think about rich CEOs that loose focus with wives, children, and even parents because of their lust for success. I am no where near that level of multi-tasking, thought interrupting, type of success, but I recently had a taste of what could happen if “focus” is lost.

Miss the ones that you should, worship only those that prove themselves, and cherish the journey you are on, the moment, before you make your next step.

Think, Make, Do....MOVE!!

I really can't stand people that can't think or do ANYTHING for themselves. I'm starting a story/poem on this topic. I'm not sure when it will be finished, but it will be long.

With Without With

Tragic roses of crystallized timeline

Left me here

With

Without

With

Him.

Featured in some unpleasant pleasantries

Found us there

With

Without

With

Her.

Gathering in crowds of social persuasion

With

Without

With

Words.

Struggling to feel correct without need to impress

With

Without

With

This.

Crazy talk & Crazy walk…carried

With

Without

With

With

Without

With

On and on

With

Without

With

Cheered

I think that the bag is a good idea.

You are in self-control.

You put it over your head and take a deep breathe.

I do sympathize with you.

It’s a weighted Elephant.

While diligently producing new work, we talk.

I’m totally blocked, death of a shallow man, dismembered bartender.

Failure.

Lets have a literary chat.

Littered through our travel.

Leave it all on the nearest coffee table.

Form Letter.

You win.

Struggled.

Dreams.

Going as high as I can go, I’ve gone as far as I can go.

Waitress.

People are served.

Smug little nose.

Haunted

I can't seem to shake certain things or people I thought were gone. It's all too much sometimes. You wonder from time to time if you'll ever run into people or hear from them again, but it still hits you like a cannonball when it happens.

Recently I've heard from two old roommates, old co-workers, and through some vivid dream I've seen an old boyfriend. I'm almost 28 years old. I remember watching some of my older friends in the past go through this age and it seemed similar to what I'm going through now. 28 is a time, I imagine, that everything gets shaken up again and questioned. Hearing from these people makes me think, just a little too much.

Whatever these new contacts come to, or come to be about, they will be met with honesty, true sense, and plenty of curiosity.

...

It is what it is. I appreciate the positive and negative feedback from the last blog. The last blog was a rant. I was angry and I still am about a couple of things, but these are the thoughts,trials, and tribulations, of an artist, person, who is going through this life trying to make "it" what "it" is.

As for anyone commenting on my blog, I appreciate all of the words. It gives me the opportunity to look at things differently. I'm open to constructive criticism. Unfortunately, not everyone who has commented has justified or taken the time to explain where their comments are rooted from. Some people hide behind old, stale, song quotes, meanwhile others just leave me hanging with "mediocre".

Either way these things are a positive. Thank you for taking such an interest in a moment I thought no one would even care about or see.

Until next time.

We came to get started - at the cost of $200.00 an hour

I take after my Mother in one very distinctive way, I care too much sometimes. I give my all to people I allow into my life. In fact, the people that I bend over for are rare and sometimes it comes as a surprise to myself and the person that I'm helping out as to how far I will actually go. There are times, many times up to this point in my life when I've been walked on and looked over after I've gone the extra mile for an individual.

Recently I didn't sign a contract when signing on to work with a photo company and I got screwed over the rights to my photos and maybe even some publication of the work as well. Not only am I too old to know better, but I'm too talented to be taken advantage of. I'm nice, too nice, and only a special few have seen the result of my anger, the purest form of emotion that can come out of a person when it's held in reserve for an extremely long period of time.

So here's the update, my photo rates for jobs or gigs start at $150.00 an hour and extend to $250.00 an hour. That's still extremely cheap in most cases. Everyone needs to take into consideration that photographers, good ones, have to charge for the hours they will be editing your photos. Just because it's digital doesn't mean it's automatic. Just to point out, yes there are pre-designed shitty programs that beginners can use to edit there photos and attempt to make the look "special", however someone that has skills in the extended outlet of editing can do more to a photograph than your average "joe" and then some.

I will not be doing anything without contract. I will no longer take mercy on my friends. This will be the last year for free weddings or "favors". My camera costs more than my first car so I don't need to deal with the dirt from your shoe in my face.

I am for hire. No favors. Thanks for all the work, I'll make sure to get right on it.

Sincerely, Pissed off and Fed up photographer.

Also, if you owe me TAX papers, I COULD REALLY USE THAT INFO RIGHT ABOUT NOW.